Who is Satoshi Nakamoto?
The Most WTF Enigma in the Crypto World!

Satoshi Nakamoto. A name that packs a punch. A name that inspires mystery. A name that makes banks tremble and whispers in crypto investors' ears: "To the moon!" 🚀

But who really is Satoshi Nakamoto? A genius? A hacker from the future ? A reptilian? A secret elite group funded by Elon Musk and Illuminati-approved? Or maybe it's me, and I'm writing an article about myself to muddy the waters in case the FBI is listening? Nobody knows. And that's exactly what makes the character as mythical as the original Coca-Cola recipe. (spoiler: there's no more coke in Coca-Cola, yes yes there was!)

Come on, get comfortable, grab a beer (alcohol abuse is... who cares!) and let's dive into one of the greatest mysteries of the 21st century, right behind the eternal enigma: why didn't Jack get on that damn door next to Rose!?

Satoshi Nakamoto: Bitcoin's Phantom Creator

In 2008, as the world trembled under the financial crisis, a mysterious individual (or group) named Satoshi Nakamoto, member of the Cypherpunks (people interested in cryptography, (nothing to do with the CyberPunk game, (yes I'm putting parentheses inside parentheses, what are you gonna do?)))😎. Anyway Satoshi publishes a revolutionary document: the Bitcoin whitepaper. A 9-page text explaining how to create a decentralized digital currency, without banks, without government, without annoying bosses.

A year later, in 2009, Nakamoto releases the very first Bitcoin block (the "Genesis Block"), and the first Bitcoin in history is mined.

And then... POOF! In 2011, after some exchanges with developers and enthusiasts, he disappears like a ninja. No more messages, no more activity. Curtain call.
Since then, nobody knows who he is, where he is, if he's alone or if they're multiple people, if he drinks coffee or tea.

How Much Bitcoin Does Satoshi Nakamoto Own?

Before disappearing, Satoshi had time to mine 1 million Bitcoins. Let's do a quick calculation (even if it hurts):

1 BTC ≈ $100,000 (average value in 2025). 1,000,000 BTC x $100,000 = $100 BILLION 💀

Satoshi Nakamoto would therefore be one of the richest people on the planet. And yet, he's never moved a single one of his Bitcoins. Who can be that rich and spend nothing? Even Jeff Bezos buys yachts!

Two options: Either he's dead (peace to his genius soul) Or he's meditating in a cave in Tibet in zen monk mode. Keep in mind that back in 2010, a certain Laszlo Hanyecz had a genius idea (or not): he paid 10,000 Bitcoins to buy two pizzas. At the time, that was worth about $40. Today, those same 10,000 BTC are worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

The first Bitcoin purchase in history was an order from Papa John's, and these pizzas are probably the most expensive ever eaten. Meanwhile, Satoshi Nakamoto has never spent a single one of his Bitcoins… Maybe he's still waiting for the buy 2 pizzas, get 1 free offer!

Who is Satoshi Nakamoto?

Many theories circulate about his identity. Here are the main suspects:

Hal Finney: Bitcoin's First User
Hal Finney was a genius cryptographer and the first person to receive a Bitcoin in a transaction. He talked with Satoshi online, and his writing style strangely resembles Nakamoto's. Small problem: he died in 2014, so we'll never know.

Nick Szabo: The Inventor of the "Smart Contracts" Concept
Another cryptography genius, Nick Szabo worked on a project called "Bit Gold" (a Bitcoin ancestor). Except that... he denies being Satoshi. Too easy, right?

Craig Wright: The Man Who SELF-PROCLAIMED Himself Satoshi
This Australian guy said "I'm Satoshi", but without concrete proof. The crypto community immediately told him to get lost. (No proof = no Bitcoin for you, Craig).

Elon Musk: Because Why Not?
Some think Tesla and SpaceX's creator is behind all this. Elon's response: "Nope."

A Government? A Secret Group? An Alien?
Others think Satoshi Nakamoto isn't a single person, but a group. Maybe even a secret NSA or Japanese government project. Some even dare say that... it's an alien who came to give us a new currency before leaving. 👽

In short, the mystery remains intact.

Why is Satoshi Nakamoto a Genius?

Regardless of who he is, here's what he managed to do:

• Create a decentralized currency that escapes banks and governments.
• Invent blockchain, a revolutionary technology.
• Become a living legend... without even being visible.
• Disappear with 1 million Bitcoins... without ever spending anything.

In a world where everyone seeks glory and recognition, Satoshi Nakamoto preferred to remain anonymous and let his invention speak for him.

And frankly, respect. 🫡

"If you don't believe it or don't get it, I don't have the time to try to convince you, sorry."

Share or you're a noob!